Differences in Sexual Desire: A Checklist for Your Marriage
Sometimes after a long day, you just want to climb in bed and go to sleep… but your spouse has other ideas!
Sometimes after a long day, you just want to climb in bed and go to sleep… but your spouse has other ideas!
Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy and cheer with everybody bubbling over with joy. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it just plain hurts. It’s the time of year when there is so much stress and tension. Maybe you’re alone this year, and there is a lot of grief and pain involved. No matter what we’re going through, God has a story of redemption for our lives.
After a fight, you basically have four options: you can exit the relationship, you can be patient and loyal by waiting for your spouse to change, you can neglect your spouse, or you can repair. (Branau-Browna & Ragsdale, 2008)
We’ve discussed fighting in the last few topics: why fighting for your marriage is good, different fighting styles couples use, and basic ground rules for use in a fight. This last topic in our series, about how to repair after a fight, is definitely the most important of these four topics!
Really, thinking that the repair comes after the fight isn’t really accurate. To set your marriage up for success, Continue reading
Most of us have the wrong idea about conflict in marriage.
We fear the conflict could lead to the disintegration of our marriage.
That’s a reasonable fear, in many ways. But we paint with too broad a brush. You see, it’s not the conflict itself that puts the marriage at risk but rather the behaviours within the conflict.
“How couples argue and disagree about issues appears to be more consequential to the success of marriage than what they argue about or how often they experience conflicts.”
Fighting is something I am passionate about. Probably because I was so bad at it when we first got married…
I would get mad and come across as hostile, crying and flinging words that I didn’t always even mean.
Caleb would try to apologize, calm me down and say whatever it took to get himself out of the situation.
Ahhhh, marital bliss! Socrates himself apparently once said, “By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”
Ever have a conversation that goes something like this?
Hubby: So are we all good then, honey?
Wifey: Yup.
Hubby: You’re sure.
Wifey: Yes, I’m fine.
Hubby: OK then. I’ll take your word for it…
Continue reading
Maybe you’re not like me.
Maybe you don’t REACT to everything.
Maybe you should be writing this post about defensiveness…
If you woke up tomorrow and a miracle happened so that you had a thriving, passionate marriage, what would you see differently? What would be the first signs that a miracle had occurred?
Guilt is an effective motivator.
It’s also a great way to make you an unbearable spouse.
If you’ve ever had someone lay the, “If you really loved me you would…” guilt trip on you then you know exactly how that makes you feel. Loathing. Disgust. Nothing like, “I love you! I’d love to do that for you!”
I found the topic of triangles in marriage to be fascinating. How often do I get my nose out of joint by something my husband does? And then try to get my support from someone else? THAT is creating a triangle!
What Is A Triangle?
Triangles are three-way relationships. Usually, this looks like mom-dad-child, or an unpopular variant: husband-wife-mistress. Sometimes the husband’s work can be his mistress…
They usually consist of two close parties and one distant one. For example, Dad is angry and abusive (distant) so Mom and oldest daughter are close and allied against Dad. Or, husband and work are close and wife is distant.