As I sit here, gazing at a picture of my handsome husband, I am asking myself the question, “Should I talk to him about it? It has been bugging me for a few days… Oh, I know! I’ll just shoot him a text message and hint at it – that’ll work out well!”
NOT!
It’s Valentines Day this weekend! Happy Valentine’s Day!
We specialize in marriage and love so we’re supposed to be all enthused about Valentine’s, right!? So, why do we have mixed feelings about it all?
In 2015, couples are saying that communication is their biggest struggle. Why, when we’ve never had so many ways to communicate and keep in touch as we do now, are people still struggling with this?
After a fight, you basically have four options: you can exit the relationship, you can be patient and loyal by waiting for your spouse to change, you can neglect your spouse, or you can repair. (Branau-Browna & Ragsdale, 2008)
We’ve discussed fighting in the last few topics: why fighting for your marriage is good, different fighting styles couples use, and basic ground rules for use in a fight. This last topic in our series, about how to repair after a fight, is definitely the most important of these four topics!
Really, thinking that the repair comes after the fight isn’t really accurate. To set your marriage up for success, Continue reading
Ever have a conversation that goes something like this?
Hubby: So are we all good then, honey?
Wifey: Yup.
Hubby: You’re sure.
Wifey: Yes, I’m fine.
Hubby: OK then. I’ll take your word for it…
Continue reading
Maybe you’re not like me.
Maybe you don’t REACT to everything.
Maybe you should be writing this post about defensiveness…
If you woke up tomorrow and a miracle happened so that you had a thriving, passionate marriage, what would you see differently? What would be the first signs that a miracle had occurred?
Guilt is an effective motivator.
It’s also a great way to make you an unbearable spouse.
If you’ve ever had someone lay the, “If you really loved me you would…” guilt trip on you then you know exactly how that makes you feel. Loathing. Disgust. Nothing like, “I love you! I’d love to do that for you!”
Christians have been trying to figure out for centuries: is divorce and remarriage ever the right thing to do? For some, that’s an intellectual discussion – for others, it’s a huge, unexpected reality in their lives.
I love that feeling of relief and gratitude that comes when I realize that I’m not the only person struggling with something! You’ve been there too, right?
Verlynda and I ran a survey of our OYF Clan (email list and people that follow us on social media) in the third week of August, 2014 and received over 50 response. We were touched by the sincerity and the openness of many and, as promised, are now giving you a summary of what we learned.
To those who shared with us in the survey: thank you! We appreciate your input and honour you for your openness and sincerity.
Here’s our marriage challenge countdown:
How awesome does it feel to be completely understood by someone – to feel that they ‘get’ you when you are explaining a problem!? Do you want to be a spouse that is able to give this blessing?
Listening to understand is one of those skills in marriage that doesn’t have a very sexy label, but is going to go a long ways towards building a thriving, passionate marriage.
This is a quick episode again as we are still vacationing in South Dakota!
Dr. John Gottman, a leading researcher in the field of marriage therapy, encourages couples to establish what he calls, “rituals of emotional connection.”
There are hundreds of possibilities, but in this episode we share with you a quick one that we practice nearly every day. We use it in that busy time between getting home from work and eating our evening meal together.